Be Brave
Several weeks ago, Yeshiva Shor Yoshuv sent out a letter that we wrote along with a cd of the shloshim speeches. Yesterday, while doing the usual erev Sukkos shopping, I was lucky enough to meet a good friend that I hadn’t seen in a while.
I could tell that he was nervous but he was brave enough to tell me how inspired he and his wife felt from the cd. As he turned to walk away, he said” Your daughter was a special girl and the whole community misses her.” He had no idea how much that meant to me. Imagine if he had kept that inside.
People on the “outside” always think that bereaved parents are uncomfortable talking about their deceased child. In my experience that has not been the case. On the contrary, most parents that I have spoken to, love to talk about their child. It is personal feeling and depends on the parents, personality of the parents, age of the child and the relationship between parties. But most people I have spoken to appreciate when someone asks them about the child or if you tell them that you miss their child. Even better is if you tell them a story that you remember or in some way that your life was affected by their child. And of course any pictures, videos that you could share are considered an invaluable gift.
The bottom line is that assuming you have the relationship, feel free to talk about their child. The risk is that they might bite you but it is worth the risk.
The Jewish world is such a small world. A close friend of mine told me that whenever he meets someone and he asks, “Do you know Glen Holman?” If they do not recognize the name, he says,” Did you ever say tehillim for “Nechama Liba bas Saguite? That is her father.” Usually, they did. Everyone davened for her, he told me.
Wishing you all a Good Yom Tov!
I could tell that he was nervous but he was brave enough to tell me how inspired he and his wife felt from the cd. As he turned to walk away, he said” Your daughter was a special girl and the whole community misses her.” He had no idea how much that meant to me. Imagine if he had kept that inside.
People on the “outside” always think that bereaved parents are uncomfortable talking about their deceased child. In my experience that has not been the case. On the contrary, most parents that I have spoken to, love to talk about their child. It is personal feeling and depends on the parents, personality of the parents, age of the child and the relationship between parties. But most people I have spoken to appreciate when someone asks them about the child or if you tell them that you miss their child. Even better is if you tell them a story that you remember or in some way that your life was affected by their child. And of course any pictures, videos that you could share are considered an invaluable gift.
The bottom line is that assuming you have the relationship, feel free to talk about their child. The risk is that they might bite you but it is worth the risk.
The Jewish world is such a small world. A close friend of mine told me that whenever he meets someone and he asks, “Do you know Glen Holman?” If they do not recognize the name, he says,” Did you ever say tehillim for “Nechama Liba bas Saguite? That is her father.” Usually, they did. Everyone davened for her, he told me.
Wishing you all a Good Yom Tov!
posted by Unknown at 12:29 PM
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