Monday, February 06, 2006

Don't be afraid part 2

My previous post might have been too far reaching or “painted with broad brush”. I received one email from close friends apologizing for not mentioning Nechama’s name during a brief encounter some time ago. Not every situation or meeting is appropriate for discussing the deceased child. The point is not to be afraid to talk about the child that has past. If you have a story to share or a picture, feel free to go ahead and share it. I have been asked on a few occasions by friends if it is appropriate to give a video clip of a deceased child to the parents. My advice was “Run, don’t walk. They will be forever indebted to you.”
     Dealing a bereaved parent is tough business. And even bereaved parents are anxious and cautious when talking to other bereaved families. The “right” thing to say one day is wrong the next day. Sometimes it fluctuates by the minute. You can never be guaranteed that what you will say is going to be the right thing. All you can do is to try your best. If you are sincere, that will come across. “If it comes from the heart, it will enter the heart.”
     Unfortunately, there is more than one story about a bereaved parent whose friends stopped calling or worse. I have been told on a number of occasions of friends who crossed the street to avoid having to meet with a bereaved parent. And it did not go unnoticed and it did hurt them. But it is sort of a purification or filtering process.  In the end you will know who your real friends are and who you can count on in your family.
Fortunately, we have very good friends and family and our feeling of appreciation knows no bounds. Well, you might be more worried now than you were before, but just do your best. If you have something to share, don’t be afraid.if you don’t then you needn’t go out of your way to make something up. “No matter which way you go if you are sincere (with a small amount of common sense), they will appreciate you.”


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My Goal is to post at least 2x per week on Sunday and Wednesday.