Tuesday, May 03, 2005


Pesach has come and gone. It was not easy but we survived. The first Seder was basically a cocktail of xanax and the arbah cosos. I don't remember much. The second Seder was a much more conscience experience. We spent the Sedarim with close friends of the family. They understand our pain. They have been by our side and have seen the pain up close. Before the second Seder, the head of the household asked my wife and I if he could say a few words about Nechama. He said that since it is on everyone's mind, it would be a mistake to try to ignore it. At the Seder, he explained that although this was a happy year, it was also a sad year. We lost Nechama Liba. Nechama exuberated a tremendous simcha when she was with us. Since she is no longer with us, we need to make up for that lost happiness by being extra happy. It took the edge off and led the way for a beautiful and fun Seder that lasted until 3 am. It seems universal that Pesach is especially difficult for all bereaved parents. it is a time when you can't pretend. The missing child "stands out" , so to speak. A Rav told a fellow bereaved parent that the neshamas of the children reunite with the families for Yom Tov. It is similar to the experience of taking pictures at a family simcha. The photographer unknowingly asks, "Is everyone here?" I want to scream "NO! Everyone is not here!" Imagine if a family was taking pictures and one child was in the other room. They would search high and low for that child. How can you take family pictures with only part of the family? You would need to retake the pictures when the child was brought. Can you even imagine someone saying, "It's ok, we'll take the pictures without him." Last Succos, we spent the holiday with family in Israel. Someone innocently commented on how nice it was to have thee entire family together. How we shouldn't take for granted that everybody is getting together. It is like a stake in the heart ... a wound that won't heal. I hope& pray that Moschiach will come soon so everyone can be together with everybody.


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My Goal is to post at least 2x per week on Sunday and Wednesday.