Tips for Nichum Aveilim

This was produced by University of Cincinnati Psychological Services Center.

When helping people who grieve, it is important that you do NOT…

· Withdraw from the survivor, removing your support.

· Suggest positive outcomes from the loss.

· Mention that the death could have been prevented in some way (e.g., If only….).

· Rationalize positive aspects the death.

· Compare the survivor’s grief reaction to other people you know.

· Dwell on your own grief to show your sorrow.

· Become frightened by intense emotions and then retreat from the situation.

· Try to talk them out of their feelings.

· Force physical gestures (i.e., hug, holding hands, etc.).

· Take rejection by the survivor as a personal attack on you or your relationship
with the survivor.

Please Feel free to add any additional tips of things to say (or not to say)