Speech by Hakamas HaMatzeivah

Just found this from the Hakamas HaMatzievah from over a year ago.

The group is small and personal so I feel comfortable saying a few short words of a personal nature.

Being in Israel is a strange experience for me. Each step is a reenactment of the efforts that we took upon Nechama’s behalf over the past year and a half during my trips. Our families and friends went to extreme efforts, making tremendous personal sacrifices during Nechama’s illness. They were a tremendous support for us thru the years. They were always there for us, no matter what the task was. We knew that we could always count on them whenever we needed her most.

How appropriate that Nechama’s uncles have accepted to say Kaddish on her behalf.

May we share many simchas together.

Acherie mos – kedoshim.

When Aaron’s sons were nifter, he could have responded in many different ways. The pain of a parent that loses a child is beyond understanding from someone who has not experienced it chas vashalom. A person whose has not experienced is not shyiach to it (not able to comprehend). The Torah says “Vayidom Aaron”. Aaron was silent. There are no true words of comfort. No magical soothing messages that will ease the pain. There aren’t even questions to ask or even answers to seek. You don’t even know where to begin. We save all of that, all of the “why” questions for the olam haEmes.

“Achreia mos bnei Aaron”-is followed by the laws of Yom Kippur. What is their connection? Chazal say that the world stands on shtika (Keeping silent). When Aaron’s sons died, he could have expressed many complaints against Hashem, chas Vashalom. Instead he remained silent. It was as if he was saying, “Hakodesh Boruch Hu, when I could have ledged complaints against you, I remained silent. So, when you have taanas (complaints) on Klal Yisroel, please remain equally silent. That is Yom Kippur.

Acherie mos – Kedoshim :Nechama Liba was a special neshama. Her greatness was so hidden that no one understood who she really was until after she passed.. The pasuk speaks about Aaron’s sons and then the korbanos and halachos of Yom Kippur. What is their connection? The death of a tzaddik is a Kapara ( an atonement) for the masses.

What is the connection between a tzadik and the tzibur? The tzibbur grows and is inspired by the Tzaddik . The tzaddik is able to invoke teshuva and stimulate growth amongst the people. The tzibbur is inspired to take upon new mitzvos and strengthen their bond with their creator. Rav Tzadok says that the greatest moment for the nifteres is at the time if death. Only after the Tzaddik dies do we truly see the greatness of holiness of the tzadik. Real Kapara (atonement) is when it leads to teshuva. When we feel the pain of the loss and more importantly when we change ourselves, when we are inspired by the nifteres, that is the real Kapara for the tzibbur. Through the zechusim (merit) of the mitzvos which they take on. All of the mitzvos, the kabalos hamitzvos that we take on in her memory., That is the real Teshuva, that is the real Kapara.

In truth, nothing would have meant more for Nechama than for her to have witnessed the aliya (spiritual growth) of her family. Every mitzvah that her family, her immediate family, her siblings, her grandparents , her parents, her uncles & aunts, would be greeted with a shining light beaming with pride as she looks done upon us. We need to live our lives in a way that would make her proud. In this way she will never be forgotten and every act, no matter how small or large, will be a zechus for her and all of us.

The greatest lesson that we can learn from her ,now, at this difficult time in our lives is to move forward. Constantly growing..each day better than the previous one. We need to do it bSimcha. Nechama didn’t let her situation deter her , she used it to drive her to be better. We need to strengthen our emunah and bitachon. We were able to stay positive and have true faith during the darkest hours, we must build upon that. By moving forward, we can make a dramatic impact on the world. By having pure faith, living our lives Bsimcha, we have an opportunity to make a kiddush Hashem that few will experience.
We need to internalize that message. Envision that glowing face and sweet smile. We need to save the “why” questions for another chapter in our lives, when g-d willing Moshiach will come soon and reunite us. Her memory always live on thru the mitzvos that we do. May we only share simchos together.

Hashem should bring Moshiach soon bimhara vYamenu amen.