Monday, June 05, 2006

Nechama, Where are you?

The clock turns 2:34am. The chilly wind slams against the window pane. Nechama, Where are you?
It is late and you are not home.
You are not even eleven years old.
You should be home with your parents and your family.
My eyes are tired from waiting up.

Mommy and I are sick and worried about you.
I want to go to sleep but I don’t know where you are.
Is it fair that your sister should have to go to sleep by herself?
It is cold outside.
Your bed is empty and warm and waiting for your return.
Are you safe? Are you having fun? Are you happy?
Do you know the people that you are with?
Are you being taken care of? Is it warm? Are you comfortable? Please come home. I promise I won’t be angry.
I will hold you and never let go.
My tears will be tears of joy at seeing you again.
All of this will be a scare that we can put behind us.
Then as I start to doze off, it hits me suddenly, like an icy cold snowball that hits you in the face, Nechama passed away almost 2 years ago. The reality stings me like a bee bite that has become infected.

Please G-d, bring Moshiach soon and in the meantime give us the strength to have faith that you are taking care of her even better than we ever could have.

6 Comments:

Blogger anonym00kie said...

i just wanted to let you know that I have been reading your blog. i dont really know what to comment or what to say, but i wanted you to know that im reading and that its extremely moving and inspiring. may you and your wife and the rest of your family be comforted and be blessed with inner peace until moshiach comes.

2:23 PM  
Blogger FrumGirl said...

I am crying reading this. I also dont have words but I know my heart aches.

11:46 PM  
Blogger Glen Holman said...

This post has the most meaning for me. it is lesson in itself to appreciate our children.

2:14 PM  
Blogger Elie said...

A heartbreaking cry. Thanks so much for sharing. Wish I had had a chance to meet your daughter, and that you would have had a chance to meet Aaron. For reasons we will never know, we were only able to meet one another as fellow bereaved fathers.

10:12 PM  
Blogger socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Wow makes me want to cry. So beautiful. I ache thinking about it yet feel the strength that you empart your words with.

11:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

so very sorry

6:23 PM  

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