Tisha B'Av 05

Tisha B'Av has a tremendous power. It has the ability to leap us forward toward teshuva or “spiral us” into depression with never ending questions of “When the suffering will end?” Last Tisha B'Av, my Rebbi spent the day with me in the hospital. We learned Eyov together. It was becoming increasing apparent that our only glimmer of hope was to take Nechama to Pittsburgh for a transplant. While, the medical center in Pittsburgh was in the midst of evaluating whether Nechama was too sick for a transplant, I found the idea of being uprooted from my familiar surroundings to an unknown place far away to be of a torturous nature. I can't imagine how the Jews in Gaza feel. I couldn’t bear the thought of not being able to see the other kids who visited us from time to time. Even more so, we were familiar with the medical care in Columbia and more importantly they were familiar with us. A gentle suggestion from my wife or myself was often enough to set things in motion. Thankfully, the staff was open-minded. In addition, we had visitors and food was brought every day. (Side-bar: As a matter of fact ,on Tisha B'Av last year, a woman from our community made the trip to Manhattan, dropped off fresh baked pastries to break the fast and then left.) In any case, I couldn't bear the thought of going to Pittsburgh. I couldn't even stand the name. "PITTSBURGH FOR HEAVEN SAKE" was all that I could muster. (No offense to anyone who lives in Pittsburgh. I am talking about the hospital not the city) Hashem is infinite; he can certainly cure Nechama in New York. In the midst of entertaining that thought downstairs, I got an urgent call to come upstairs; there was another problem. It was a tense situation and I promised to G-d that I would go to Pittsburgh and accept G-d’s choice for me without complaint. Thankfully, Nechama recovered. I realized at that moment that all of my complaining and bantering was ceased in a moment. I also recognized that maybe Pittsburgh was our best choice. Within the hour, I got the final answer from Pittsburgh, they said “No”. We were rejected.
That's Tisha B'Av.